A lettter to the lake effect

I go to school in Northwest Indiana and live in Chicago. I always thought that I was acquainted with the awfulness of Midwest weather. But I was young, naive, and unaware of the lake effect. After being buried under almost three feet of snow, it is now in the forties and was in the fifties yesterday. But I will not get my hopes up.

Dear Lake Effect,
Northwest Indiana is a place of corn, corn, and more corn. There really is not much here that is thrilling or a draw. In fact, Northwest Indiana is really good and bringing people to the realiztaion that the Midwest sucks. But it does have one good quality- the beach. Not only is it naturally beautiful, the rolling blue waves on the clean sand look even better after a horrible terrible winter and after driving a few minutes through cornfields. So how am I supposed to feel when I discover that my beloved lake Michigan- the very body of water that brings me summer time joy- brings me the coldest, most shivery, winter time woes? Not only do I receive the menopausal weather that the Midwest brings, we here in Northwest Indiana get it tenfold. How am I supposed to pretend to enjoy negative forty wind chills, weather so icy that each twig on a bush or branch on a tree is encased in ice, or snow that goes up to my knees and then freezes over the next day? Even better, is that I have to walk to class in this fantastic display of what the Midwest has to offer. The most terrible part of it all is the beautiful weather that is sitting pretty outside my window. It is stunning by all means: sunny, warm, a slight spring wind. Everything that we, the Northwest Indiana residents, look forward to. But I know it is just a tease. A taste of what is to come. But it will not come soon. It will take you, my darling Lake Effect, about two more months to stop being a pain. It is nice now, maybe you are tired or wanted a warm break as well. But I am well aware of your games. So I have a proposal to present you. You love to make people miserable. You love to crush their warm weather hopes. And you are very, very good at this. So why don't you go down to Florida for a little bit, about two years are so, and I will stop cursing you to hell. Sound like a plan?

Don't forget your sunscreen,
Lilia